- Melania Zilo
The Official Unofficial Do’s and Don'ts of Relationships
Updated: Jul 4, 2020
Everything you need to know about the key to a healthy relationship brought to you by yours truly, and her super cute boyfriend Alejandro <3 (back by popular demand).
Do talk about your feelings in the moment. Express whatever is on your mind or anything that might be bothering you. When we let negative emotions build up inside, not only does it lead to unnecessary tension, but it might come up later on at the completely wrong time. Take things as they come and remember to be mindful of each other's feelings, even when you disagree. There are always going to be conversations that you don't necessarily feel comfortable having. Get over it. Healthy and constant communication is the key to growing in the relationship and understanding each other on a deeper level.
Do try to be spontaneous when spending time together. It doesn't always need to be a grand gesture, but something as simple as grabbing a pizza box and heading to the beach for a picnic can make all the difference when it comes to date night. It's really easy to get caught up in a routine, so exploring new spots and trying fun activities is a sure way to keep things new and fun.
Do learn to pick your battles wisely. You are two totally different people, and there will be many things you don't always agree on (we've come to terms with the fact that we rarely agree on anything). Deciding what's worth the argument and what's not will save you a lot of time and energy.
Do be their biggest cheerleader. Support them in everything they do, it's as simple as that. Always back them up, literally learn to be their ride or die. Most importantly, be there to pick them back up when they fall. A little encouragement and ass-kicking from your favorite person can go a long way.
Do cultivate relationships with the other people in your partner's life. Remember when Charlotte, Miranda, and Samantha hated Mr. Big? Tell me if that was any fun for you to watch. It's so important to have positive relationships with your partner's friends and family, not only because it's important to them, but because there is so much opportunity for love and support there, and who doesn't want more of that?
Don't worry if you go to bed angry. I think I was taught the opposite, but I've learned that you do not need to have it out with each other at 3 am. Instead of refusing to go to bed after an argument or something, accept that some things take time to get worked out. Re-affirm that it's just an argument, that you love each other regardless of the issue, and that you're both on the same team. I think it's healthier to revisit the problem in the morning when you are both in a better headspace (after Melania has had her matcha).
Don't forget about the little things. Remembering the moments that brought you both the most happiness is a perfect way to stay centered in the relationship, especially during testing times. Keeping track of important dates, their coffee order, and other things they enjoy doing can instantly bring a smile to their face when they need it, and remind you both why you fell in love with each other in the first place.
Melania & Alejandro